So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
