And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
