we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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