I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
