my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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