i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
