oh god the rape fog is back!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
