I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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