Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
