The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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