# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
