I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
