he told me I talked like a deaf person
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
