I wish my penis had an off switch
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
