this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
