Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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