The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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