I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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