Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let's get the cat blown out
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize