No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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