im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
