That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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