I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
