Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
