you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
