Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
