Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
why is half of my head shaved?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
