as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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