she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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