So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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