Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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