My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize