well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Found the puke drawer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
