Will you blow on my dice?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
