I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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