My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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