a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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