But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you didnt know i had herpes?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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