he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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