Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
