Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
