I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
should my penis look like a turkey
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize