she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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