Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
