Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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