she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
