I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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