All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
