Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
