Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
