I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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