Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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