ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
there is glitter all over my balls
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