connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
