i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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