Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
