We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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