I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
