Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
