DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
