God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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