The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
