Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
