My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
