so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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