Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
please don't ironically join a cult
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